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Pranks and Practical Jokes done right leave no permanent damage - well at least none that you can see. Sure they may jump when you make a certain noise but life makes no warranty as to safety or sanity.

A nice little snake prank

with the added benefit that it involves good looking women

Rolling on the Floor

You might not want to pull this one on your girlfriend or wife, but I knew I was going to dump my girlfriend at the time for being such an ill-ass-bitch so I set the trap. I went out and bought a single roll of toilet paper, the kind with the paper wrapping. Scotts was the brand I think. Next, I stopped by the pet store and bought a feeder mouse. If you don’t know what that is, it’s one of those small mice they sell at the pet store for a few bucks to people who own snakes.

You know the best pranks are nothing without witnesses, so I invited some of my friends over for a few beers. This was especially sweet because these were the friends she was always calling low-life's. About 5 min before she was due to arrive, I opened the paper wrapping, dropped in the mouse and resealed the wrapping. I made sure that that roll was the only roll in the bathroom and placed it under the sink. I made sure an empty roll was on the paper holder.

She arrived late and I thought the mouse might have had time to eat its way out. As soon as she arrived she gave me a few of those why are they here looks and headed for the bathroom. No time to check to check the trap. We waited and waited and - EEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH - she came running out of the bathroom with her panties half pulled up and her shorts around her ankles. She headed for the kitchen, grabbed her keys, knocked our beer on the floor breaking a few bottles, flipped me the finger and left. My friends and I must have rolled on the floor for ten minutes howling with laughter. Beats the hell out of having to go through that entire break up shit. Yeah, and she hasn’t spoken to me since – Woo Hoo!!.

Invest in a Dollar

Short sweet and entertaining. Invest in a dollar coin and a tube of super glue. Find a nice spot where you can view the activities preferably an outdoor restaurant or bar where you can have a few beers while you watch the entertainment. Apply the glue to one side of the coin set the glued side down on the side walk and settle back.

Knowledge, Power and a Fishing Story

Knowledge is power and power in the hands of practical joker is a dangerous thing. First the knowledge, Neutral Red, a water soluble, crystalline, red dye has the amazing property of coming out of the body as pretty much the same red color as it went into the body. Since a good friend of mine Rob, likes to drink Merlot he was the natural target.

Four of us set out for a weekend fishing trip. No hotels for us. We camped in the middle of nowhere. We were roughing it; just the four of us, a camper, a generator, some food if the fish didn’t bite and alcohol. Lots of booze!

Needless to say everybody but Rob was in on the joke. I purchased several condoms and gave them to the other guys. The story we told Rob was that you needed to wear condoms when you swim at this lake to keep a small parasite like worm from swimming up your penis and laying its larva, which would cause bleeding, and a lot of pain. We fished and drank and swam and fished some more. Hell, we even caught a few really nice fish. While we swam Rob made fun of us for wearing condoms under our swimming trunks, as we knew he would.

As the sun sank below the tree line we settled in for an evening fresh fish, alcohol, and shooting the shit. We were all feeling no pain when I remembered to add the Neutral Red Dye to Rob’s wine while another friend distracted him. A few glasses later he finally got up to take a piss in the lake. He went he did his thing came back and set down.

Damn it, nothing. No red piss, no joke, no nothing! What a big fucking disappointment! Good thing we had alcohol and we were having a good time. Time passed and about an hour later Rob heads off to the lake to take another piss. This time he comes walking back at a pretty good clip, grabs a flashlight and heads back to the lake. John hollered after him asking if everything was ok but Rob didn’t reply. A few minutes later Rob hollers from the shore OH MY GOD I’M PISSING BLOOD!!! The rest of us are trying hard not to laugh and Rob is full of questions about the worms. We couldn’t help but laugh. Instead of realizing that he was the victim of a practical joke he thought that we are laughing at his situation.

Being buddies and good friends none of us could resist piling it on thicker and deeper. Dan even offered a story about how one fellow even had to have his penis amputated.

Rob was in full panic mode and I offered that if he drank more wine it might kill those buggers. Now when your drinking, once you start going to the bathroom it’s a pretty regular thing. Sure enough after about a half hour Rob couldn’t hold it back any longer. Then Rob’s mind began playing a terrible trick on him. He began to believe that he actually was in pain. So while he’s down at the shore pissing and hollering "OH SHIT THAT HURTS" and "OUCH OWIE OWIE", we're laughing so hard our sides are hurting.

When Rob made it back from screaming and hollering and pissing and saw us laughing he started feeling a bit put out. We defiantly weren't feeling his pain. We finally put an end to the joke when he started to get in his truck drive to the hospital. He took it like a man when we told him the truth and we’re still great friends, but we’ve been watching our backs ever since.

Mail Box Prank

After the mail has already been delivered, fill the mail box with ping pong balls or packing nuts. Then ask someone else to go get the mail.

Lottery Ticket Swap

This one takes some pre-planning. All you have to do is buy someone a lotto ticket today and tomorrow go out early and buy another ticket with the winning numbers from the last draw. When the victim of your prank isn't paying attention swap the newer ticket with the old one. He or she won't realize the date is wrong on the ticket and will believe they are the big winner.

Bend Over Splits

Place a coin on the floor and as people walk by and try to pick the dollar up, you stand nearby and tear a small piece of cloth. It will sound as if the victim of the prank actually split their pants.

Push or Pull

Print out some signs that read, "Push" and "Pull" and tape them to doors at your local stores. Make sure to place them on the wrong side. Then sit back and watch.

Bar Of Soap Lather Prank

Take some nail polish, cover a bar of soap and let it dry. Place it in the shower. When your victim tries to use it, he or she will go nuts trying to get it to lather up.

Ypto Ypto...errr!!! TYPO!

Be carefull with this one, as to not ruin the keyboard. All you have to do is simply and very carefully pop off few keys and switch them around. If your victim is one of those "look up and down" typers. He or she will be very confused while trying to get work done.

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